The hike that changed my life...

 By: Charlie    7:10 AM     2 comments

Ask not for whom the dinner bell tolls; it tolls for me. After a couple of weeks of preparing, soliciting donations and talking a lot of smack about how much I'll lose the time has come for me to stop putting my food where my mouth is and start exercising. Hopefully none of my sponsors will be too offended by my waddling out of the starting gate a couple of days early. That's right, we've bumped up the starting date for Pounding Poverty to today, December 30. Here's why I made that decision:

On Saturday, December 28, I had promised my two children that we would go hiking so long as the weather was pleasant. Unfortunately Mother Nature called my bluff and it was freaking beautiful that day. Innocently thinking it couldn't be that bad I loaded them up and we went to Raven Run (a true Lexington treasure) for a short hike.

I've been hiking at Raven Run since I was a kid. Just about anyone who grew up in Lexington took school field trips there and knows the short hike to the Kentucky River overlook without even looking at a map. I'd done this a dozen times or better although not for a few years. But just a third of the way down the mile or so trek we hit a mud pit comparable to the La Brea Tar Pits. For at least a quarter of a mile my kids and I slogged through the kind of mud that eats your shoes and houses creepy Scooby Doo monsters.

By the time we reached the beautiful overlook I was too tired and out of breath to stand.  I sat on the famous limestone cliffs hating myself. I'm sure there was a tear somewhere among the sweat rolling down my face. How did it come to this? How did I ever let it get this bad? No one ever wakes up and says, "I no longer care about my body. I'll just let it go and to heck with fitness, appearance or overall health." Life doesn't happen in one of those magical moments from the movies where proud or ominous music marks some life-changing epiphany. Life is a series of small decisions about whether to eat broccoli or burgers and the consequences smack you in the chest one way or another.

The return trip to the parking lot took twice as long and I nearly had to lay down in a grassy meadow for a while just to make it back. The kids, always positive and cheerful, urged me on with smiles but I could tell they knew something was wrong. They knew Daddy should be better at this than them. He should be stronger, faster, an example. And so, ankle deep in mud and doubled over in the middle of a Kentucky wood, I decided it was time. Pounding Poverty starts now.

The next day involved two hours of recipe hunting and shopping as I prepared for the big day. My awesome wife made special muffins with fresh, organic ingredients for me to eat for breakfast. My pantry has traded Little Debbie for a cornucopia of fresh fruits and veggies. And I am now a proud member at a gym near my home and have an appointment this week with a personal trainer.

So today, Monday, December 30, 2013, is the day my life changes. It's 10 a.m. and all is well (muffin for breakfast and a healthy lunch waiting in the fridge). I'm not so naive as to think it's always going to be this easy but I have each of you with me, cheering me on. We have now have $42 per pound in sponsorships and it's not too late to join in if you want to be a part of the Pounding Poverty team.

To each of you I just want to again say Thank You. Regardless of how successful we are in this endeavor it is so encouraging to know I have friends, family, and colleagues like you who have my back. This is going to happen. Stay tuned for dispatches from the dining room...

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10 Things I Won't Miss About Being Fat

 By: Charlie    10:19 AM     1 comment

Everyone knows the obvious reasons for losing weight. Be healthy, live longer, look better, feel better, yada, yada, yada. But what about the less tangible things that actually impact your daily life? Here's a list of things I won't miss about being fat...

1. Airplane Seats - Every time I board an airplane I think there are hidden cameras and Ashton Kutcher will pop out any minute to tell me I've been Punk'd. Surely this is a joke and those aren't the actual sizes of the seats, right? I've never been big enough to need the Seat Belt Extender-of-Shame but I am big enough to hope and pray that Delta has seated a 30-pound tween next to me and not someone like me who hit Sbarro on the way to the gate.

2. Clothes Shopping - Men of my...ummm...girth are caught in a black hole of clothing sizes. My waistline teeters on the precipice of "normal" sizes but if I try shopping in the Big and Tall section I end up looking like Jared from Subway with his jeans that could double as a 8-person tent. There's no in-between for the fat but not yet THAT fat guy. It'll be nice to get back into sizes that are actually found on the shelves in most stores so I can stop ordering clothes entirely online.

3. People Saying 'You're Not Fat' - Although, I imagine they'll still say, "I never thought you were fat." See, I think the reason we have an obesity problem in this country is that fat is OK. It shouldn't be. It's not OK to smoke or do drugs or other things that destroy your body so why is it OK to inject yourself daily with french fries and chicken grease like it's some kind of edible heroine? At any rate, you don't have to lie to me. I know I'm looking at a normal Body Mass Index in the rear view mirror.

4. Hating Myself After a Meal - I can't say this will never happen again but most of you know what I'm talking about. It's that feeling you get after you hit the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. For the second time. After you already ate three plates of fried chicken, fried shrimp, and steak. My self-esteem drowned long ago in a big bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy.

5. Being the Fattest Guy in the Room - You don't notice this until it's you. Then you suck in your gut and tell yourself that you're fat but you wear it well because of your muscular build and baggy clothes. It's not true but it takes your mind off the fact that, should you all become trapped in that room, you are the person who could feed the most people if it comes to that.

6. Sore Feet and Back - Fat Charlie does not understand why some people feel the need to walk to lunch when there's a perfectly good car outside and a parking lot at the restaurant. Or why take the stairs when there's an elevator right in front of you? Constantly pushed by friends, colleagues, and myself to walk more or take the stairs I am then rewarded for my "exercise" with a sore back and feet that feel like I just climbed Everest.

7. Pill Organizer - I was barely 30 when I got my first pill organizer. To be honest, my obsessive compulsive side kind of likes having something that neatly arranges my multiple medications for blood pressure, cholesterol, vitamin D deficiency, etc. Of course, I'm far too young to be needing these things and I'm hoping at least some of these meds will go the way of the buffalo wing.

8. That Awkward Moment When You Order a Double Quarter Pounder and a Diet Coke - Yeah, I'm that guy. I switched to drinking diet soda years ago and lost a bunch of weight. The weight came back but my taste for regular soda did not. So now I'm reduced to ordering the double-burger meal with large fries and a diet soda and then watching the employees try not to smirk or roll their eyes. It's the reason Grimace should have punched Ronald in the face years ago.

9. The Shirt of Shame - As the father of two young children I am regularly dragged to the pool, especially on vacations. This leaves me with few options. I could join my kids at the pool but not swim. Anyone with a 5-year-old knows how much he's going to love that (sarcastic eye roll). I could refuse to go to the pool (my preferred tactic). Or I could cannonball in like the fat kid in The Sandlot while wearing the Shirt of Shame. You've seen me and others like me. We wear our shirts in the pool to cover up chests that rival about half the females in the vicinity but without the shirt we look like an albino wookie that ate Jabba the Hutt.

10. Spendin' All My Loot - In my field you hear a lot about how families can't afford to eat healthy and there's truth to that. It shouldn't cost more for some broccoli than it does for bag of Grippos. Still, for me, it's been eating out that's been a primary culprit and this healthier lifestyle is bound to save me some cash. I've always envied the guy in the office who is perfectly content eating hummus on sprouted bread. In fact, I often discussed this with him while eating The Caniac with extra toast and Cane's sauce.

Here's hoping you have a Merry Christmas and Pill Organizer Free New Year! Remember, if you haven't formally pledged your support please click on the link above to sign up and join the Pounding Poverty Team!

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The Gastronomical Bucket List

 By: Charlie    6:00 AM     1 comment

 

 

So I've been thinking a lot lately about the foods I'll miss. I know that a successful diet will require finding foods I like and continuing to eat but to do so by making smarter choices. But I'm not stupid, either. That's just code for "you won't be eating some of your favorite foods anymore." Here's an homage, in no particular order, to the foods I'll miss most and some personal pictures to go with them:

1.  Crazy Bread - Seriously. Who doesn't love this stuff. Little Caesar's is not my idea of high quality pizza but for the price you can't beat it and there's nothing finer than those pillowy, buttery, garlicky, parmesan-infused breadsticks of awesomeness.

2. Jet's Pizza - This is my idea of high quality pizza. Seriously. If you haven't had Jet's Pizza since they moved to Lexington a year or so ago then stop what you're doing and go get some. Now. I'll wait...

3. North Lime Doughnuts - The phrase "culinary perversion" comes to mind. The good people at North Lime Coffee & Doughnuts do things with pastry that should be illegal. Who'd have thought that bacon on a doughnut was such a brilliant idea. Next thing you know they'll be putting Nutella or children's cereal on a doughnut. Oh....wait...they did that already.

4. Beer - In the words of Homer Simpson, "Mmmmmm...Beeeeeer." And I'm not talking about that golden urine-colored stuff that your buds call an American lager. I'll miss West 6th IPA, Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale, Kentucky IPA, and sipping a Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy on a warm summer day. That stuff is just plain tasty. And don't tell me I can still drink Michelob Ultra. I will cut you.

5. Nachos - In the About Me section of this blog I reference having lived for an entire summer off of nachos. That is no exaggeration. I seriously love nachos.

6. Cheese - This is separate from nachos because cheese, in and of itself, is bliss. I've been known to lop off a big chunk of cheddar and just eat it like an entrée. I actually bought an entire wheel of cheese once and drove it to Kentucky from North Carolina. Below is a picture of the moment I celebrated with my wheel o'cheese. I'm ashamed at how quickly I ate that. Or am I?

7. Ribs/BBQ - This little gem became one of my favorites after living in Owensboro, Ky., then Georgia and then visiting Memphis a couple of times. Let me be clear - there is no good BBQ in Lexington. There is some decent stuff but it doesn't hold a candle to the stuff I have made in my own smoker at home and even that still isn't fit to brush the rub onto ribs at Rendezvous in Memphis. All hail the Rendezvous. Hail!

8. Cheesecake - A desert so good they built an entire restaurant chain around it. Unfortunately it is the restaurant chain that holds the title of Highest Calorie Entrée. Looks like the closest I'm getting to a Cheesecake Factory is reruns of The Big Bang Theory.

9. Mexican food - It's simple. It's everywhere. And nothing beats a big plate of tacos and rice. Any of my compadres from Western Kentucky University know that this habit was groomed in the sticky booths of Puerto Vallarta.

10. Mt. Dew - You've been a good and true friend, my fizzy green confidant. However, diet or otherwise everything points to your contributions to my waistline. We had a lot of good times together, didn't we? I'd have never made all those 8 a.m. or even 9:30 a.m. classes in college without you. But all things are for a season and its time for you to return to the hood of a NASCAR vehicle.

These are just a few of the many things I'll miss beginning January 1, 2014. What would you give up to make a better life for yourself and help others? Share it with me! Coming soon is 10 things I won't miss about being fat.

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The Most Interesting Fat Man in the World

 By: Charlie    12:06 PM     No comments

I could not have been more touched by the overwhelming response today to our launch of Pounding Poverty. I say "our" because this initiative is as much about you, our supporters, and Community Action Council, our beneficiary, as it is about me. As of this writing we are up to at least $12 per pound in pledges with more of you who have committed to go online and pledge as soon as you get a chance.

If you haven't already, be sure to click on the "Pledge Now" link above and fill out your pledge commitment to support Pounding Poverty. As a reminder, every contribution will be tax deductible and will be a direct donation to Community Action Council, the nonprofit organization in Central Kentucky that fights poverty with broad initiatives to help individuals, families, and communities work toward economic independence.

Your support has me so excited that I can't wait to begin on January 1. Be sure to continue watching this blog as I'll update you on my plans for diet and exercise and my last meal on New Year's Eve. Many of you have asked which "diet" I'll be doing and the answer, for now, is nothing special. I am a big fan of Michael Pollan and his philosophy is that we should all Eat Food, Mostly Plants, Not Too Much. However, I am open to suggestions so post in the comments if you have advice!

I've also approached a local gym about sponsoring me with a free 12-week membership but I'm still waiting for a response. I plan to take up some aerobic activities like running (long term goal is to complete a 5K) but will also return to weightlifting, which I used to do and thoroughly enjoyed. I'll also return to playing golf, an old hobby of mine, and doing some of my own yard work. A few years ago I hired someone to mow my grass and that, admittedly, was a move made out of pure laziness. I still hate mowing the grass but my honey-do list is a mile long and most of it is pretty physical stuff. So maybe I can be Bob Vila and Richard Simmons all rolled into one. Stay hungry, my friends...

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Welcome to Pounding Poverty

 By: Charlie    11:43 AM     No comments

You’re going to be seeing less of me in the New Year – literally. Nearly a decade as a desk jockey at Community Action Council has made me more Twinkie than man and it’s time for a change. You’d think pounding the pavement for poverty wouldn’t be such an unhealthy line of work but as a manager and writer I have a desk job. The only thing I’ve been pounding for the last nine years has been Spalding doughnuts and Chipotle burritos. Beginning January 1, 2014, I’ll embark on a mission to drop 75 pounds in 2014. It’s all part of a plan to slim my waistline while expanding the budget for an organization I love that helps people in Central Kentucky work toward a better future.

I’m inviting you to join my cause and support me for the first 12 weeks of this endeavor. I’m hoping each of you will pledge a price per pound on my quest as a show of support for me and for Community Action Council. For example, if you pledge $1 per pound and I lose 35 pounds between January 1 and March 26 then you would make a $35 tax-deductible donation to the Council. It’s that simple. Just respond to this e-mail and let me know how much you’ll pledge per pound.  My goal for 2014 is to lose 75 pounds but this little game only runs for 12 weeks so that’s all you’ll be responsible for with your pledge. After March 26 I’ll send you an e-mail letting you know how much I lost and explaining how you can make your donation and how you can continue to follow my progress if you so choose. None of the funds will go to me – I’ll provide direct donation options for fulfilling your pledge.

In exchange for your support I’ll send you weekly blog posts about my progress and include some tidbits about Community Action Council so you can get to know me and my organization a little better. I’ll even throw in some self-deprecating pictures for your amusement. I have also created a Facebook page you can “like” called “Pounding Poverty” and will be writing about my progress on this blog. You can even follow me on Twitter by following @poundingpoverty. This won’t be a picnic for me because, well, I like picnics. Since I’m putting myself out there for individuals and families with low-income I hope you’ll stretch too and make an ambitious pledge in support of my goal. Won’t you consider pledging $1, $5, $10 or more per pound?

Thanks so much for your support,

Charlie

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